ethical porn

Top Ethical Porn Sites For Women to Explore Their Sexuality

Else Cinema by Erika Lust

It’s easy to go online and find porn. What’s not easy, is finding ethical porn, created and produced by women, for women, in what feels like a safe space to consume it. What does that even look or feel like? It can mean something different to everyone but for me, it means not being bombarded with ads, choices that feel more in tune with my desires, consent based films, and the knowledge that performers are paid a living wage.

“Big Porn” just doesn’t offer these things. Let’s be honest, most of us who consume porn have probably done so at least a few times on a free, tube site. I get it, I’ve done it myself in the past, even being part of the industry. Before I knew exactly how those sites worked, I thought somehow, the performers got a share of the ad revenue or were somehow being paid, even though I didn’t personally spend any money on the platform. It’s easy to convince ourselves we aren’t doing something wrong, especially when we’re broke and want a quick fix.

But using these tube sites isn’t ethical and more often than not, the performers whose videos and clips are featured on these sites never see a dime of the money made from them.

Research about these sites has taught me a number of things, one being, most of the videos uploaded to these tube sites aren’t even done with the performer’s permission. They’re taken from cam sites, ripped from DVDs, or screen grabbed from fan sites. Some may even be what’s known as revenge porn, videos and photos sent to a significant other at some point, then distributed after a breakup. The bottom line is, they’re not being distributed with consent. Clearly, not ethical porn.

Paying for your porn helps ensure performers are earning a living wage. Moreover, it changes the conversation about porn. How? When you pay for the porn you consume, you have a hand in sponsoring the kind of content you want to see–you’re supporting studios that do the right thing by providing safe spaces for their performers, who understand testing is important, who know conversations about consent mean a more comfortable environment for all, and the continuation of a product you enjoy.

Top Ethical Porn Sites For Women to Explore Their Sexuality

Erika Lust’s Feminist Collection of Ethical Porn Sites

Erika Lust is a pioneer in the porn industry for a reason and she’s created a number of sites to showcase her groundbreaking work. There’s site for just about anyone, from softcore porn to her exemplary XConfessions–where users can write in and disclose their own fantasies and potentially have it made into a film!

Else Cinema–When you’re looking for something else, Else Cinema, also known as The Erika Lust Soft Edition, then look no further. This is the first cinema of erotic movies that offers viewers a sensual experience. More romantic storylines and passionate affairs than your typical porn experience.

Lust Cinema–If you’re looking for porn that is feature-length or in a binge-worthy series with all-star adult performers, Lust Cinema is your answer. This is the adult studio for lovers of cinema and sex, with relatable storylines and realistic sex that’s part of a wider narrative. On Lust Cinema you will also find an extensive catalogue of porn films made by some of the top adult studios in the USA. Whether you’re craving lesbian porn or BDSM sex, expect to find it here starring some of your favorite porn performers.

XConfessions–Completely crowd-sourced erotic cinema: the public’s secret desires are turned into screenplays for Erika Lust and guest directors from around the world. If you’re ready to confess, your secret fantasy might just be their next short film!

The award-winning XConfessions was born in 2013 as the first step of Erika Lust’s mission to create a new wave of adult cinema. XConfessions is now home to a community of filmmakers, artists, performers, and viewers who love sex and film and are looking for a new kind of erotic experience.

Lust also has a non-profit, The Porn Conversation (TPC) which she runs with her partner, whose goal is to provide educational materials to parents, educators, and older teens concerning porn literacy. It’s a fantastic organization I am proud to be an ambassador for.

Lustery

Lustery–Founded in 2016 by Spanish filmmaker Paulita Pappel, Lustery started small, but with big ambitions. It germinated within Berlin’s sex-positive community with the goal of capturing the candid intimacy and raw passion of people’s sex lives. The market for the platform grew quickly, fed as much by word of mouth between couples as by an increasingly smut-literate audience hungry for authenticity in their porn. Its goal: To celebrate sex and relationships in their diversity by creating an archive of authentic intimacy and a sex-positive platform for people all around the world.

Side note, Paulita has been featured in a number of films which can be found on Erika Lust’s sites!

Sssh.com–Porn, reimagined. The award-winning site, Sssh, is the premier destination for sex-positive, ethical porn made from a woman’s point of view. Crowd-sourced films are inspired by fantasies and desires shared by their members. Their provocative storylines will challenge your perceptions of explicit sexual content. From cutting edge VR to narrative film, and what most porn sites leave out–written word and auditory stimulation. Sssh has been bringing phenomenal work to the porn industry since 1999, founded by critically acclaimed filmmaker, Angie Rowntree.

Ethical porn means something different to everyone, but the bottom line for most women is, we should be able to have a safe space to consume quality content to explore our sexuality. These sites provide that, while also having a bevy of items to choose from so we never run out of things to consume in the process.

If you’d like to speak further about any of these sites or porn literacy, get in touch!

An Ultimate Beginners Guide to Vibrators and Their Best Uses

Photo by Make Love Not War used with permission

Shopping for a sex toy can be fun and exciting, but it can also be overwhelming. There are so many options on the market today, it can be difficult to decide just which one to choose. Thinking back, a vibrator was the first sex toy I was ever gifted, so a beginners guide to vibrators seemed like the perfect choice to break down.

The Classic Vibrator

The first vibrator I owned was a classic vibrator. My girlfriend at the time sold sex toys and gifted it to me. Back then, there weren’t a lot of options, especially compared to today. It was leopard print and took D batteries! It was hefty, unwieldy, and bulky.

These vibrators are long, perfectly straight, and typically comprised of a hard ABS plastic exterior. Kind of ouchy if you’re not careful. But, being so simple and cheap relative to other vibrators, it is a perfect starting point for those just starting to explore vibrator play. A classic vibrator like this is sold in novelty stores more often than not, but it’s still a valid choice and if you want penetration, it works.

Photo by Lovehoney used with permission

Super Smoothie Classic

For those who are new to vibrators in general, here are a few tips to get you started:

  • Use your other hand to stimulate other parts of your body to complement the vibrator.
  • Change vibrator intensities and angles periodically.
  • Take your time and don’t use high-intensities just to orgasm quickly.
  • Once comfortable with the classic vibrator, you can move on to the more sophisticated vibrator types.

The Rabbit Vibrator

Most experts agree that the rabbit vibrator is the best vibrator for women, hands down. But just why is that the case? Although I can orgasm from penetration alone, most women can not and need clitoral stimulation. A rabbit vibrator provides the ability for users to get dual stimulation which can potentially give you a blended orgasm. What’s not to love about that?

For most women, getting off effectively is a matter of stimulating multiple regions at once. Most commonly, this means vaginal stimulation and clitoral stimulation. The original rabbit vibrator made that possible by adding a set of “rabbit ears” towards the base end of a vibrator.

These rabbit ears were designed to stimulate the clitoris while the bulk of the vibrator is inserted vaginally. Today, vibrator designs have evolved to the point where many rabbit vibrators don’t have rabbit ears anymore. As long as a vibrator has these 3 defining characteristics, consumers consider it a rabbit:

  • A longer end to be inserted vaginally for internal stimulation.
  • A shorter end to stimulate the clitoris externally.
  • The ability for both ends to be used simultaneously.

A rabbit vibrator frees up your second hand to use elsewhere such as your nipples or breasts, or even your anus. In this case, a rabbit vibrator allows you to take your pleasure up one more notch!

Photo by Fun Factory used with permission

Lady Bi Rabbit Vibrator

The Mini (Bullet) Vibrator

No beginners guide to vibrators would be complete without a discussion about bullet vibrators. It’s a very common vibrator used by many, called a bullet due to their shape. Not all mini vibrators are bullets but most bullets are mini. What makes this category of vibrators so great comes down to 3 key reasons:

1. Portable and discrete enough to take anywhere– Mini vibrators are called such for an obvious reason–they are small. While other vibrators are typically 6 inches long, mini vibrators are always smaller, ranging anywhere from 3 to 5 inches. Mini vibrators are the perfect vibrators to take on the go. It will fit nicely in any purse, or even right in your pocket if necessary. Not only that, but the look of a mini vibrator is a lot subtler than a regular vibrator, allowing it to blend in with the rest of your belongings. Some companies even design them to look like a tube of lipstick!

2. Quiet enough to avoid detection– A big problem with using a vibrator outside your home isn’t just taking it to places other than your bedroom, but also avoiding detection from those around you while using it. Luckily, the mini vibrator is perfectly equipped for that. Most mini vibrators only make as much sound as a soft whisper.

3. Simple and intuitive to use– It gives you all the benefits of a classic vibrator in a much smaller variety– and typically just one button to cycle through various vibration speeds. With no protruding elements, you don’t have to worry about getting the right angle or orientation for proper usage.

Maya by LNW photo used with permission

Maya Bullet

The G-Spot Vibrator

Even though you may know exactly where your g-spot is, unfortunately this doesn’t guarantee you can effectively stimulate it manually. It isn’t the easiest spot to reach but no worries, a great g-spot vibrator can help you get there.

Everyone’s body is different, so if your g-spot is located farther up along the anterior vaginal wall, and/or your fingers are simply short, then it may not be physically possible to reach your g-spot on your own. Also, you may not have the strength to apply ample pressure to your g-spot from such an awkward angle. For me, pressure is key so using a toy or having a partner stimulate my g-spot is the only thing that works for me.

Although the g-spot is a highly sensitive region just like the clitoris is, you do have to apply slightly more pressure to truly stimulate it. Unlike your clitoris, where someone could literally blow on it and you will feel a faint pleasing sensation, you must press down on your g-spot very well to activate the pleasure sensations in that region. So why include g-spot stimulators in a beginners guide to vibrators? Even though stimulating this area might be considered a more advanced technique than manual masturbation, the benefits are well worth the effort and made much easier with the use of a vibrator.

From a purely physical standpoint, using a g-spot vibrator gives you much more leverage to not just hit your g-spot, but to hit it effectively. The curved or emphasized vibrator head, which is the defining feature of the g-spot vibrator, plays a very important role. This unique shape targets your g-spot–some models even incorporate a thumping motion within the head that taps your g-spot, making it even more effective. Others are self-propelled or thrusters that do all the work for you.

Photo by Author

Nanci Prime Thruster (pre-configured model only comes with thruster)

The Egg Vibrator

Most people think of an egg vibrator as something just a few inches in length and shaped like, you guessed it, an egg. The cool thing about egg vibrators is, not only can you take it wherever you go, you can use it just about anywhere as well. They’re typically even smaller than a bullet or mini vibrator. Even cooler, and the biggest reason I had to include it in a beginners guide to vibrators is, most of these on the market today are controllable by a mobile app! You can hand over control to your partner in a public or private setting which can lead to some spicy fun.

The rounded (or oval) egg shape means you can fully insert the vibrator into your vagina without it slipping out. Or if the egg vibrator is designed to be placed against your vulva inside your underwear, the non-phallic shape allows for a more comfortable and less noticeable fit. Once your egg vibrator is firmly in place, you can handle the rest through a separate remote control. This adds to the discrete nature of the device as well, as using a remote-control is infinitely subtler than having to reach under your clothing to change vibrator frequencies or intensities.

Photo by Lovehoney used with permission

We-Vibe Jive App Controlled Egg Vibrator

The Wand Vibrator

Everyone that owns sex toys should own a good wand so there’s no way I was going to leave them out of a beginners guide to vibrators. In fact, I would go so far as to say no sex toy collection is complete without one, regardless of your level of experience. Wands look almost identical to a typical personal massage device that is used for back pain and other ailments–in fact, the most famous of these vibrators started out its life for that exact purpose.

Wands consist of a uniform rod with a large soft, semi-flexible head at the end. This obviously means it is fairly useless when it comes to vaginal penetration, but that’s not what they’re designed to do. But hey, there are attachments you can purchase from many manufacturers to add to the head that will allow for penetration.

The Clitoral (Oral Sex) Vibrator

Unlike most vibrators, a clitoral vibrator’s main attachment is an open-ended tip at the end of the shaft of the device. This open end is maybe only an inch or so in diameter, perfect for using on your small, but highly sensitive clitoris. Instead of focusing on vibrations in general, this vibrator literally aims to suck or pulsate on your clitoris. Just like how (most) people give oral sex!

The different levels of pleasure are directly related to the intensity level you are using. At lower intensities, it will feel more like playful foreplay–as if someone were trying to take as long as possible to get you to orgasm. However, at higher intensities, you can orgasm right away, just like with using a wand vibrator at the highest setting. The best way to use your clitoral vibrator though, is to find a setting somewhere in the middle.

Pro Tip — make sure your vibrator is sealed tight! Using a drop of lube on your clitoris helps maintain your seal.

This is very important to ensure that you are stimulated the way the device was intended. Without the vibrator tip being completely sealed off, the suction won’t have as much effect, if any at all. To make sure you are using your clitoral vibrator properly, you may need to practice a few times at first. I found, using a mirror can be useful to get things lined up just right, especially if your anatomy is shaped like mine. I have meatier bits so at times, moving my outer lips out of the way and getting to my clit can be difficult.

The Bottom Line on a Beginners Guide to Vibrators

While most people knowingly associate the vibrator with amazing sexual pleasure, different vibrators can provide vastly different sensations. Each of these highlighted seven vibrator types have their own unique attributes that make them a staple of anyone’s sex toy collection. Even if you have a personal preference as to your favorite vibrator type (I’ll never not own a wand), don’t limit yourself to just that vibrator. Your body can become used to the same vibrations and movements and potentially cause issues achieving orgasm during sex–and during solo play. Try a few different vibrators and mix it up. You’ll experience pleasure in no time.

*This article contains affiliate links. Not only will you get quality products, you’ll also help support my writing. If you’d like to set up a time to consult with me about which products may work best for you, get in touch at demeterdelune@gmail.com