review - Demeter Delune

Why You Should Be Using Lube and Which Types

February 10, 2023February 10, 2023Demeter DeluneLeave a comment

There are a ton of brands of lube on the market today, so it can be difficult to know exactly what type you should be using for your adult fun. First, let’s get the shame out of the way, shall we? There shouldn’t be any. I remember the first time I brought up using lube in the bedroom. I hadn’t been married to my first husband for very long and I was pretty young, not quite 21 years old. Back then, I couldn’t express why I was having issues with self lubrication, but now I can tell you it probably had a lot to do with stress. Regardless of why, adding a little wetness from a bottle should never have been an issue, but apparently, according to him, it was.

He made me feel like I shouldn’t need it and even asking about it was a personal affront to him. Guys, don’t do this, ever. If your partner says they want to use lube or even if they don’t, and they break out the bottle during sexy time, go with it. Lube, just like sex toys, is a bonus feature in the bedroom, not something to be shamed about. It enhances things, it doesn’t take away from a damn thing.

It’s 2023 and I really feel like I shouldn’t have to make this statement but using lube is absolutely necessary when doing anything anal, just in case you weren’t aware. The anus is not self lubricating. Just putting that out there.

What types of lube are there?

Water based lube

When you think of using lube, water based lube is what probably comes to mind first. It’s the most basic lube available and literally goes with everything. You can use it with all of your sex toys, it’s compatible with latex condoms, and it’s typically available at your local drugstore. But be aware, not all water based lubes are created equal and there are some ingredients you’re going to want to avoid.

Remember: Your skin is an organ! Any product you use on your body gets absorbed into your body.

Ingredients to Avoid: Parabens (synthetic preservative that mimics estrogen), Glycerin (can cause yeast infections and UTIs if you are prone to them, if not, then this is fine. It is widely used in lubricants so it’s difficult to avoid), benzocaine (a numbing agent, we’ll talk more about this later), Propylene glycol (this is an ingredient in antifreeze!), Nonoxynol-9 (this is a spermicide that can lead to BV in some women, as it kills the good bacteria in your vagina).

My favorite water based lubricants also have ingredients that moisturize and don’t leave a sticky residue. Since they are water based, they don’t always have a ton of staying power, but the good news is, adding just a few drops of water reactivates the lube and you’re good to go!

Demeter’s Water Based Lube Recommendations

Gleam by Velvet Co–Formulated using purely sea-kelp-based glycerin, this top-selling lubricant is designed to provide a silky smooth, and comforting glide with no sticky or tacky residue. Sea kelp based glycerol is excellent for skin that is prone to dry irritating conditions. The sea kelp provides Omega 3 which soothes and softens, reducing sensitivity.

Sliquid Naturals Satin–Moisturizes with aloe, carageenan, and vitamin E, it doubles as a long-lasting lube. You can use it daily for relief from vaginal dryness. Cruelty free and vegan.

Sliquid Naturals Sassy–Formulated for anal play, but definitely can be used for any type of play, this extra cushiony water based lube is never tested on animals and vegan. No scent, no taste, glycerin-free and paraben-free.

Pros of Water Based Lube:

It doesn’t stain your sheets
Washes off easily in water
Compatible with sex toys/condoms

Cons of Water Based Lube:

May not be thick enough/long-lasting enough for anal/long sex sessions.
Some people find it to be too sticky.

Silicone based lube

If you have sensitive skin or you really enjoy having sex in the shower, silicone lube is a great option for you. One of the pros of water based lube is that it washes away easily with water, but that’s a con if you’re having a good time in the bath or shower–but with silicone lube, that’s not a problem. It stays put and has the added bonus of leaving your skin feeling pretty amazing. It’s also compatible with latex condoms. It is not, however, compatible with your silicone sex toys, as it can erode them and cause damage, leaving them susceptible to bacteria, which is never a good thing.

Silicone lube is also fantastic for anal play, but remember, if you’re going to be incorporating a toy, be sure it’s not a silicone one (or cover it with a condom just to be on the safe side).

Demeter’s Silicone Lube Recommendations

Wicked Sensual Care Ultra–Sensuous and long lasting, it feels silky smooth on your skin. Paraben free. Never sticky. No aftertaste. Vegan no animal by products or testing, Made in the USA, glycerin free, Propylene glycol free. Use code DEMI to get 10 percent off when shopping at Betty’s.

JO Premium Original–Their original silicone lubricant, paraben and glycerin free, buttery smooth with a soft finish, won’t wash away easily in water, and compatible with most toys. This lube is condom friendly (not with polyurethane) and is FDA licensed. Use code DEMI10 to receive 10 percent off anything you purchase from the JO store when you shop.

Pros of Silicone Lube:

Good for sensitive skin
Long lasting
Made with high quality ingredients
Safe to use with most condoms

Cons of silicone lube:

Not safe to use with most silicone sex toys

Hybrid Lubes

So is there an in-between? Of course there is. If you really like the pros of water based lubes but also want some staying power of silicone lubes–but you want to be able to use it with your silicone toys, then hybrid lube is going to be your new best friend. It’s really the best of both worlds. You can use it with toys, condoms, in the shower, the tub, for anal, not have to worry about re-applying very often, and for the most part it doesn’t stain (though it can, so I would still recommend putting down something like The Layer or Liberator Throw just in case)

Demeter’s Hybrid Lube Recommendations

Wicked Sensual Care Hybrid–A water and silicone hybrid, unscented and flavor free, super silky water based lube that is easy to clean as well as toy and latex friendly, blended in harmony with a rich bodied silicone that lasts and lasts. This fusion hybrid lube is an excellent choice for all types of play. Use code DEMI to get 10 percent off when shopping at Betty’s.

Sliquid Silk–Sliquid is one of my favorite lubes, so it’s no wonder their hybrid makes the list. A water and silicone mix, glycerin free and paraben free, hypoallergenic and non-toxic. Uniquely blended to emulate your body’s own natural lubrication. Use code DEMI to get 10 percent off when shopping at Betty’s.

Pros of Hybrid Lube:

Best of both worlds (all the pros of water and silicone based lubes)
Safe for use with all your sex toys
Safe for use with latex condoms
Long lasting (washes off easier in water than regular silicone lube, but not as easy as regular water based lube)

Cons of Hybrid Lube:

Not quite as long lasting as straight silicone lube
Doesn’t wash off as easily as water based lube

Oil based lubes with and without CBD

I’ll admit, oil based lube wasn’t even on my radar until a couple of years ago, unless you counted baby oil. Let’s not talk about that (don’t use baby oil as lube). We live and learn, right?

Then I was introduced to Foria and I’ve never looked back. Their CBD infused oil based lubricant and arousal oils have been a game changer for me and I am happy to tell everyone I know about them. For those who would rather not have CBD in their oil, they have a line of botanical infused oils as well, CBD free. Today, they’ve announced the release of a study with astounding results surrounding their melts product, a fast acting CBD suppository, designed to help lubricate and ease tension.

95% of women found that Foria’s Intimacy Melts (fast-acting CBD suppositories designed to help lubricate and ease tension) increased internal glide during penetration
92% of participants experienced increased pleasure while using Intimacy Melts
The study also found a statistically significant improvement in participants’ ability to achieve relaxation during sex following the use of the Intimacy Melts

I can personally attest to these results. I’ve been using the melts for over a year now and can’t imagine not using them on a regular basis. One thing to note with any oil based lubricant is, they’re not compatible with latex condoms. In theory, lambskin should be okay with oil based lube, but always check the packaging of the condom to be sure.

Demeter’s Oil Based Lube Recommendations

Foria Sex Oil with CBD–With just two clean ingredients – 400mg broad-spectrum CBD and organic coconut oil – it’s designed to provide all-natural lubrication, ease discomfort, enhance arousal, and assist with penetration both vaginally and anally.

Coconu Oil Based Lube–Coconu is a natural, coconut oil-based lubricant that’s silky smooth, non-sticky and safe for toys. If you want natural ingredients, no parabens, petroleum or glycerin, then Coconu is the right choice for you.

Pros of Oil Based Lube:

Can also be used as massage oil
Long lasting
Can help ease tension (if it contains CBD)

Cons of Oil Based Lube:

Staining
Can’t be used with condoms

Flavored Lubes

When giving oral, flavored lubes can really up your game. They not only add lubrication but making your partner taste even more delicious can encourage you to go for broke. Companies like Wicked Sensual Care have so many varieties to choose from–don’t limit yourself to only using one, you can mix and match multiple flavors to create a combination that tickles your fancy. One of my favorites is combining brown sugar and peach–it tastes like peach cobbler!

Demeter’s Flavored Lube Recommendations

Wicked Sensual Care Mango–Any of the flavored lubes in Wicked Sensual Care’s line are great, but the Mango is probably my favorite overall. Use code DEMI to receive 10 percent off your order.

JO Sweet and Bubbly–This set features Champagne and Chocolate Covered Strawberry, which you can combine for a real treat. Use code DEMI10 to receive 10 percent off your order.

JO Champagne and Red Velvet Cake–Featuring a Champagne and Red Velvet Cake, can be used separately or together for a different take on sweet and bubbly. Part of their 20 year anniversary collection. Use code DEMI10 to receive 10 percent off your order.

Bonus Lube Recommendation

Pulse is a lube warming system I just adore. When you purchase your warmer, you can choose water based, oil based, and/or massage oil. How cool is that? As much as I love my bottles of different lubes for various purposes, one of the best things I ever did for myself was invest in this system. When using lube, it can be a shock to your body when it’s cold–almost as much as rolling over into the wet spot! I don’t use it all the time, but when I want to treat myself, especially during self-care sessions, I definitely reach for the lube from Pulse.

When should you be using lube?

Whenever the hell you want to.

Beyond that, using lube every time you have sex can make things slicker, more fun, and just plain sexier. Something I learned only a few years ago when I got into sex education was using lube more frequently while giving oral (and receiving!) can be so fun and make things go down a lot easier. Pun fully intended.

Using lube when you’re masturbating is also fantastic, whether you’re incorporating toys into your play or not. Wetter is always better and when you’re engaging in solo play, why not romance yourself? The stress of the day can cause vaginal dryness, but that doesn’t mean you’re not turned on, so adding lubricant can aid in bringing you pleasure instead of focusing on anxiety about whether you’re really in the mood or not.

There are many reasons why our bodies may not produce enough natural lubrication. Let’s do away with the idea that just because we aren’t wet doesn’t mean we aren’t sexually excited, because that simply may not be the case. Certain medications, stress, and illness can all lead to lack of lubrication–all things that using lube can easily correct.

We need to change the narrative around using lube. There’s no reason to be ashamed about it, using lube is normal and does nothing but add to the fun.

The links contained in this article are affiliate links, so if you treat yourself while shopping, I may earn a small commission.

Why the Fun Factory Bootie Fem is My New Favorite Butt Plug

February 2, 2023February 9, 2023Demeter Delune1 Comment

Butts are great. We all have them and if you do things right when it comes to preparation, booty play can be truly orgasmic. Time, lube, and patience are your three amigos. Personally, I like to add toys to the mix any time the opportunity arises. When it comes to anal play, butt plugs are one of my favorite ways to do this. Butt plugs don’t have to be gendered by any means, but let’s face it, there are a lot of male centered versions on the market that target the p-spot. While that’s awesome, where are plugs for vulva owners? Don’t worry, Fun Factory has entered the chat with the Bootie Fem.

What is the Fun Factory Bootie Fem?

Bootie Fem is a specially designed butt plug, just for vulva owners. The tulip design is not only pretty, it’s practical–providing a lube channel for easier insertion. It’s perfect for beginners to anal play with its slim design, measuring just 1.14 inches at its widest point, and has an asymmetrical base making it comfortable to wear during vaginal penetration.

Specs of the Bootie Fem/What’s in the Box

The Bootie Fem is a discreet, medical grade silicone butt plug by Fun Factory. It’s available in two colors, rose and dark taupe (which I would call purple) and one size only. It’s non-porous, hypoallergenic, and easy to clean. You can boil it if you’d like and dry, or just wash with soap and water. It comes in a recyclable box, with the toy, instructions for use, and some fun suggestions/games for you and your partner if you’d like to try.

This is considered a beginner butt plug as it’s on the small side, 3.34 inches in length and only 1.14 inches at its widest point. But don’t let that stop you from grabbing one if you’re a more advanced anal enthusiast. The shape of this plug does something intriguing for PiV (penis in vagina) play (or any type of insertion in vagina) because of its design.

What it’s Like Using the Fun Factory Bootie Fem

Let’s get to why you’re really here. How is using this pretty butt plug any different than a traditional plug? That’s exactly what I wanted to know when I was first approached. I’ll admit, I’m a sucker for a gimmick, but only if it actually does what it says it will. So, does the Bootie Fem really temporarily change the shape of the vaginal canal for PiV sex? Can it guide your partner’s penis or a dildo to your g-spot?

Yes, yes it can.

Not everyone enjoys g-spot stimulation, but thankfully I am one of those people who absolutely does. It’s one of the surest ways to make me squirt, which is something else I’m a huge fan of. Using this adorable little butt plug was a no brainer for me if that was on the table, so of course I said yes to receiving one in exchange for an honest review.

Plus, I really enjoy anal play.

I don’t currently have a local partner but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy using a butt plug during masturbation and also incorporate a dildo for some PiV fun, so that’s exactly what I did. Thanks to Betty’s Toy Box, I have a lovely sex stool that makes it much easier to accomplish this feat.

Using lube is 100 percent required when engaging in anal play. Since the Bootie Fem is a silicone toy, you’ll want to use a water based or hybrid lube–I like Sliquid Sassy because it’s thick and water based, but their Silk (hybrid) is great too and safe to use with all Fun Factory toys.

The lube channels in the top of the tulip design of the Bootie Fem are great, they capture the lube and make it easier for you to slide the plug into place. If you’re new to butt play especially, take some time to relax first. Romance yourself. And hey, having an orgasm (or three) beforehand never hurt anyone.

I decided to go all in for my first play session with this toy and incorporate a dildo (I used the Limba Flex in medium), my magic wand mini, and the plug. Go big or go home, right? After inserting the Bootie Fem, I was ready to ride the Limba which I’d already attached to my sex stool ahead of time. I love that the base of the plug is asymmetrical, that’s definitely been an issue in the past with other butt plugs and vaginal penetration. It doesn’t stop it from happening, it just makes it a little more of a pain in the ass–pun intended.

Slowly sliding onto the dildo, I could tell a little difference in how it felt entering my body once compared to normal. I wouldn’t say it was a huge change, but it was enough to notice. I chose the Limba Flex because it’s guaranteed to hit my g-spot when I thrust in and out during masturbation, so I knew it would be a great dildo to use for this experiment. It was definitely a great choice, thanks to the plug pressing against my canal and guiding the dildo towards my g-spot even more, and being hands-free, I was able to use the wand to stimulate my clit and get the full range of pleasure I was hoping for.

I won’t lie. I had my first orgasm pretty damn quickly with all the stimulation I had going on but I wasn’t anywhere near ready to stop. Having the ability to ride the dildo as hard and fast as I wanted to allowed me to not only control the depth and pressure at which I was being pounded, it also let me edge myself with the wand. And, I could even hold it on my clit and make an orgasm go on and on long after it could have been over. When I have a feeling of fullness and I’m being made to squirt, adding a clitoral orgasm to the mix just puts me over the top, so this play session was really just beyond and I can’t find anything to complain about.

Pros and Cons of the Bootie Fem

You’ve read all the pros of this cute little butt plug and to be fair the only con I can come up with is personal–I would love for Fun Factory to offer it in a larger size at some point. I love that it’s for beginners and am glad they’re offering this discreet size at launch, but I think there are others out there, like me, who love anal play and would really enjoy the option to have a larger size available. It would also be nice to have less feminine color options available as well. Just because someone has a vulva doesn’t mean they identify as female and these colors are pretty feminine. Otherwise, this toy is pretty damn perfect.

If you’re ready to get your Bootie Fem, head on over to Fun Factory and grab yours today. Right now, they’re 20 percent off, along with a ton of other items during their Valentine’s Day Sale, going on now through February 14th. Links in this post are affiliate links, so if you treat yourself to anything while you shop, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you.

Contact me for more details about anything you’ve learned in this post or if you have any questions.

The Fun Factory Menstrual Cup is a Better Alternative to Thinx

January 23, 2023January 23, 2023Demeter DeluneLeave a comment

This week, news broke that the New York based company, Thinx, has settled a class-action lawsuit surrounding their supposedly “organic, sustainable and non-toxic” period underwear. The brand faced allegations in court “regarding the presence of short chain per-and polyfluoroalkyl substances (‘PFAS’)”, also known as “forever chemicals”. Thinx denies improper behavior, and has said PFAS have never been part of its product design. Customers who submit valid claims (proof of purchasing Thinx products between 2016 and 2022) can receive compensation for up to three purchases.

It’s terrifying to learn that a product you’ve been using, which has been touted as revolutionary and has felt so freeing, is potentially toxic to your body, especially as a person who menstruates. Even in 2023, there’s still so much stigma surrounding the fluid that comes from our bodies each month.

We are constantly searching for ways to minimize it, ignore it, make it less of a struggle. Then there’s the cost. Single use products are expensive, pads can be bulky and unwieldy under our clothing, reusable products can be great but also difficult to learn to use for first time menstruating people. Thinx provided a product that was essentially “periods for dummies” and to have this lawsuit come about is quite frankly, devastating.

Keeping nasty and toxic ingredients away from our bodies, and especially our vulvas is something that’s been important to a lot of sexual wellness companies since their inception — companies like Fun Factory and their partners Momotaro Apotheca.

Fun Factory was the first sex toy brand to use body safe silicone after all, and if you weren’t aware, they also make a range of menstrual cups.

The Explore Kit comes with both sizes Fun Factory has available, so it takes the guesswork out of the equation. They’re reusable and easy to clean, includes a storage bag, made of body-safe silicone, and you can even engage in oral and light penetration (if you choose!) while wearing them.

The reusable Fun Cup holds 4–6x as much as a tampon, depending on which size you choose. This silicone menstrual cup sits in your vagina comfortably and unnoticeably, leaving you free to go about your life. When you’re ready, just empty it, rinse it out and put it back in.

What makes this menstrual cup special?

The Fun Cup is a menstrual cup shaped to curve with your body. The rim is thicker and firmer, to keep your cup reliably in place. The tapered tip is also firm, for easy adjustment. In the middle, the silicone is softer and thinner, so it conforms to the shape of your body, for maximum comfort.

Plus, folks who are sick of hyper-feminine period products will love that the Fun Cup comes in a variety of colors, the Tyvek ® bag is a simple champagne color, and all of the language in the packaging and instructions is gender-neutral.

Is the Fun Cup okay for sex?

Not doing deep penetration? You don’t even need to bother to take it out. The Fun Cup is great for oral, light fingering, strapping on a harness, and more. While tampons can leave micro-tears in your vagina, leaving you more susceptible to infections, the Fun Cup keeps your vagina healthy, lubricated, and ready for action.

Are there other advantages to using a menstrual cup?

Money. The average tampon user will spend over $100 per year on tampons. The Fun Cup is only $24.99 for a single cup, or $39.99 for a pack of two. Not only do they pay for themselves in a few months, but you can keep using them safely for years. Eco-bonus: they cut your period-related waste to basically zero. And they’re non-toxic, so your body will thank you.

How do I clean the Fun Cup?

Take the period cup out while you’re on the toilet or in the shower, and pour out any blood that’s been collected. Then, rinse it out thoroughly with warm water. Make sure to use unscented soap when you wash it, to avoid irritation. When cleaning, pay special attention to the hard-to-reach holes. And remember to wash your hands before inserting or removing your cup!

For a deeper clean, boil it for 3 minutes in pure water to sterilize. Dry it off. Clean the bag with water and some mild soap and let it air dry. Do not use any other cleaning agents than those specified. Store the products dry and protected from sunlight.

Which size should I choose?

Let’s take a look at your options! Remember that these are general suggestions, and there are many exceptions to all of them. You know your body better than we do. When in doubt, start with the Explore Kit.

Size A — Firmer silicone for better control when placing and adjusting a smaller cup. Good for: lighter flow, people with a shorter vaginal canal. Measurements: 2.1 in, Ø 1.56 in, Fluid held: 0.68 oz

Size B — Softer silicone for a comfortable fit that holds a heavy flow without feeling intrusive. Good for: heavy flow, people with a longer vaginal canal. Measurements: 2.29 in, Ø 1.7 in, Fluid held: 1.01 oz

Anytime you’re experiencing vulva dryness or itching, Momotaro has you covered. Their salve is safe for daily use and contains Coconut and Jojoba Oil base helping protect your skin’s natural moisture barrier — to protect you from everyday stressors and general irritation from sex, clothing, or exercise. Natural anti-inflammatories Goldenseal, Echinacea, and Calendula help comfort symptoms associated with yeast and bacterial infections.

Protecting our bodies from toxic chemicals is a daily fight and one we shouldn’t have to worry about on top of struggling with our menstrual cycle. The shame and stigma society has put on us for years is enough of a battle, companies should be trying to make things easier for us, not more difficult. Partnering with ethical companies is important to me as a sexual wellness educator and I’m glad to be able to bring you products from companies like Fun Factory and Momotaro Apotheca that not only provide relief and make life a little easier, but also help us stay healthy.

If you’d like to talk further about any products mentioned in this piece, or have questions about other products within the sexual wellness sphere that come from ethical companies I’m happy to set up a time with you to do just that! Book with me today.

Links contained in this article are affiliate links, so not only will you get a quality product, you’ll also help support my writing.

Playboy Partners With Lovers to Launch First Sex Toy Line

January 16, 2023February 2, 2023Demeter DeluneLeave a comment

When we think of pleasure, often the Playboy name comes to mind. It’s always surprised me that they’ve never dived into the sex toy side of the industry. In November, one of my favorite PR firms asked if I would be interested in receiving a box of goodies from the launch of of a brand new line of pleasure products ahead of this announcement. Let me tell you, it’s been hard keeping it a secret!

As of today, I no longer have to keep it hush-hush!

Lovers announces sex toy line collaboration with Playboy

Playboy, the iconic lifestyle brand synonymous with bold desire and freedom of expression, officially launches Playboy Pleasure, its highly anticipated, first foray into the Sex Toy space, available exclusively at Lovers and LoversStores.com.

Lovers is a female-founded, PLBY Group-owned Sexual Wellness brand and retailer helping people reach their greatest pleasure potential. Playboy Pleasure’s inclusive, ‘for everyone’ line of 34 high-end Sex Toys and Sexual Wellness products includes Thrusters, G-Spot & Rabbit Vibrators, Wands, Kegel Balls, Cock Rings, Strokers, Anal Toys, Prostate Massagers, Lubricants, and Sex Toy Cleaner with on-trend jewel tones and pastel colors, along with shimmering, pearlescent colors & packaging.

Playboy Pleasure Sex Toys, each discreetly adorned with the iconic Rabbit Head Design, evoke the freedom to play, and boast a variety of innovative, avant-garde features. The collection includes Vibrators with heating, tapping and thrusting functions, along with massaging rings, a spinning Anal Plug, multi-motor Cock Rings, toys with flickering tongues & a first-of-its-kind flapper shaft for the G-Spot, ergonomic features, and more!

The collection ranges in price from $26-$200.

I was lucky to receive a plethora of these new products in a gift box from Lovers ahead of today’s announcement, and though I won’t use today’s announcement to review them individually, I will give you some highlights.

The Palm is made of velvet-smooth silicone and offers two ways to play in one innovative toy. Shaped to fit comfortably in your hand and against your body, the wider end delivers a focused tapping sensation, while the tapered end provides powerful vibrations. Designed for a variety of positions, you can hold Palm against you, or place it beneath you and grind. Two independent motors deliver 10 speeds and rhythms for a combination of pleasure.

Rapid Rabbit is one of the most unique looking toys I’ve seen in awhile — and that’s saying something. At first glance, it looks like a traditional rabbit vibrator, then you notice it has an extra bit, plus the shaft is a lot longer than most. The elongated shaft is for deeper penetration and A-spot stimulation, while the extra bit, their unique flapper shaft, can be used internally for g-spot stimulation, or externally.

Add focus to your g-spot with the 10 flapping speeds and rhythms. Complete the triad of pleasure with the 7 powerful clitoral sensations in the external stimulator. Made of velvet-smooth silicone, discover new pleasures with this unique Rabbit Vibrator.

Don’t worry, if this all seems too much, don’t worry, the next toy in this new line is a little more ‘traditional rabbit’ and may be more up your alley.

Thumper, such a perfect name for a rabbit vibrator! Especially when you learn it does just that — once you insert this vibe and press it against your g-spot, even firmly, it thumps away for targeted stimulation. Easy-to-use controls allow you to explore the features independently — just vibration or just tapping — or experience the best of both worlds when you use them together. The external bunny arm stimulates the clitoris with 10 powerful vibration speeds and rhythms.

Petal is not only beautiful, but I love that it can be used anywhere you’d like oral-like pleasure. It’s a unique vibrator made of velvet-smooth silicone that delivers the ultimate combination of intense vibrations and precise stimulation from its flicking tongue. Ideal for clitoral, vaginal, and anal play, place the rose head where you want to feel it most and explore its 9 speeds and patterns, or try the stem!

The Spinning Tail Teaser (far right in green) is a vibrating butt plug with a textured, twirling design. Not only is it aesthetically pleasing, but it also rotates in a circular motion, for added fullness and stimulation — its weight and shape add to this feeling as well. Explore 7 vibrating speeds and rhythms hands-free thanks to a simple remote control.

As of today’s launch, there are 34 products in the initial collection and they can all be found exclusively in Lovers Stores online and in person. Beginning January 19–22, shoppers can enjoy 20 percent off sitewide* with code ALL20, which includes this Playboy Pleasure collection. All of the toys in the Playboy Pleasure line boast a 5 year warranty. *Standard exclusions apply.

If you’re as excited as I am about this launch and decide to order something from this exceptional line of products, feel free to check them out using my links beginning on the 19th so you can save 20 percent off! I know it’s hard to wait, but it’s so worth it. Just bookmark the links and set a reminder.

My links are affiliate links, so if you use them to shop you’ll be helping to support my writing. Be sure to check out my Instagram throughout the week for reels showcasing the individual products! To get in contact you can find all my socials here.

An Ultimate Beginners Guide to Vibrators and Their Best Uses

January 3, 2023February 2, 2023Demeter DeluneLeave a comment

Photo by Make Love Not War used with permission

Shopping for a sex toy can be fun and exciting, but it can also be overwhelming. There are so many options on the market today, it can be difficult to decide just which one to choose. Thinking back, a vibrator was the first sex toy I was ever gifted, so a beginners guide to vibrators seemed like the perfect choice to break down.

The Classic Vibrator

The first vibrator I owned was a classic vibrator. My girlfriend at the time sold sex toys and gifted it to me. Back then, there weren’t a lot of options, especially compared to today. It was leopard print and took D batteries! It was hefty, unwieldy, and bulky.

These vibrators are long, perfectly straight, and typically comprised of a hard ABS plastic exterior. Kind of ouchy if you’re not careful. But, being so simple and cheap relative to other vibrators, it is a perfect starting point for those just starting to explore vibrator play. A classic vibrator like this is sold in novelty stores more often than not, but it’s still a valid choice and if you want penetration, it works.

Super Smoothie Classic

$16.99 at Lovehoney

For those who are new to vibrators in general, here are a few tips to get you started:

Use your other hand to stimulate other parts of your body to complement the vibrator.
Change vibrator intensities and angles periodically.
Take your time and don’t use high-intensities just to orgasm quickly.
Once comfortable with the classic vibrator, you can move on to the more sophisticated vibrator types.

The Rabbit Vibrator

Most experts agree that the rabbit vibrator is the best vibrator for women, hands down. But just why is that the case? Although I can orgasm from penetration alone, most women can not and need clitoral stimulation. A rabbit vibrator provides the ability for users to get dual stimulation which can potentially give you a blended orgasm. What’s not to love about that?

For most women, getting off effectively is a matter of stimulating multiple regions at once. Most commonly, this means vaginal stimulation and clitoral stimulation. The original rabbit vibrator made that possible by adding a set of “rabbit ears” towards the base end of a vibrator.

These rabbit ears were designed to stimulate the clitoris while the bulk of the vibrator is inserted vaginally. Today, vibrator designs have evolved to the point where many rabbit vibrators don’t have rabbit ears anymore. As long as a vibrator has these 3 defining characteristics, consumers consider it a rabbit:

A longer end to be inserted vaginally for internal stimulation.
A shorter end to stimulate the clitoris externally.
The ability for both ends to be used simultaneously.

A rabbit vibrator frees up your second hand to use elsewhere such as your nipples or breasts, or even your anus. In this case, a rabbit vibrator allows you to take your pleasure up one more notch!

Photo by Fun Factory used with permission

Lady Bi Rabbit Vibrator

$159.99 at Fun Factory

The Mini (Bullet) Vibrator

No beginners guide to vibrators would be complete without a discussion about bullet vibrators. It’s a very common vibrator used by many, called a bullet due to their shape. Not all mini vibrators are bullets but most bullets are mini. What makes this category of vibrators so great comes down to 3 key reasons:

1. Portable and discrete enough to take anywhere– Mini vibrators are called such for an obvious reason–they are small. While other vibrators are typically 6 inches long, mini vibrators are always smaller, ranging anywhere from 3 to 5 inches. Mini vibrators are the perfect vibrators to take on the go. It will fit nicely in any purse, or even right in your pocket if necessary. Not only that, but the look of a mini vibrator is a lot subtler than a regular vibrator, allowing it to blend in with the rest of your belongings. Some companies even design them to look like a tube of lipstick!

2. Quiet enough to avoid detection– A big problem with using a vibrator outside your home isn’t just taking it to places other than your bedroom, but also avoiding detection from those around you while using it. Luckily, the mini vibrator is perfectly equipped for that. Most mini vibrators only make as much sound as a soft whisper.

3. Simple and intuitive to use– It gives you all the benefits of a classic vibrator in a much smaller variety– and typically just one button to cycle through various vibration speeds. With no protruding elements, you don’t have to worry about getting the right angle or orientation for proper usage.

Maya Bullet

$69.99 Love Not War

The G-Spot Vibrator

Even though you may know exactly where your g-spot is, unfortunately this doesn’t guarantee you can effectively stimulate it manually. It isn’t the easiest spot to reach but no worries, a great g-spot vibrator can help you get there.

Everyone’s body is different, so if your g-spot is located farther up along the anterior vaginal wall, and/or your fingers are simply short, then it may not be physically possible to reach your g-spot on your own. Also, you may not have the strength to apply ample pressure to your g-spot from such an awkward angle. For me, pressure is key so using a toy or having a partner stimulate my g-spot is the only thing that works for me.

Although the g-spot is a highly sensitive region just like the clitoris is, you do have to apply slightly more pressure to truly stimulate it. Unlike your clitoris, where someone could literally blow on it and you will feel a faint pleasing sensation, you must press down on your g-spot very well to activate the pleasure sensations in that region. So why include g-spot stimulators in a beginners guide to vibrators? Even though stimulating this area might be considered a more advanced technique than manual masturbation, the benefits are well worth the effort and made much easier with the use of a vibrator.

From a purely physical standpoint, using a g-spot vibrator gives you much more leverage to not just hit your g-spot, but to hit it effectively. The curved or emphasized vibrator head, which is the defining feature of the g-spot vibrator, plays a very important role. This unique shape targets your g-spot–some models even incorporate a thumping motion within the head that taps your g-spot, making it even more effective. Others are self-propelled or thrusters that do all the work for you.

Nanci Prime Thruster (pre-configured model only comes with thruster)

$249.98 Velvet Co.

The Egg Vibrator

Most people think of an egg vibrator as something just a few inches in length and shaped like, you guessed it, an egg. The cool thing about egg vibrators is, not only can you take it wherever you go, you can use it just about anywhere as well. They’re typically even smaller than a bullet or mini vibrator. Even cooler, and the biggest reason I had to include it in a beginners guide to vibrators is, most of these on the market today are controllable by a mobile app! You can hand over control to your partner in a public or private setting which can lead to some spicy fun.

The rounded (or oval) egg shape means you can fully insert the vibrator into your vagina without it slipping out. Or if the egg vibrator is designed to be placed against your vulva inside your underwear, the non-phallic shape allows for a more comfortable and less noticeable fit. Once your egg vibrator is firmly in place, you can handle the rest through a separate remote control. This adds to the discrete nature of the device as well, as using a remote-control is infinitely subtler than having to reach under your clothing to change vibrator frequencies or intensities.

We-Vibe Jive App Controlled Egg Vibrator

$119 Lovehoney

The Wand Vibrator

Everyone that owns sex toys should own a good wand so there’s no way I was going to leave them out of a beginners guide to vibrators. In fact, I would go so far as to say no sex toy collection is complete without one, regardless of your level of experience. Wands look almost identical to a typical personal massage device that is used for back pain and other ailments–in fact, the most famous of these vibrators started out its life for that exact purpose.

Wands consist of a uniform rod with a large soft, semi-flexible head at the end. This obviously means it is fairly useless when it comes to vaginal penetration, but that’s not what they’re designed to do. But hey, there are attachments you can purchase from many manufacturers to add to the head that will allow for penetration.

Magic Wand Rechargeable Photo courtesy of Lovehoney

Magic Wand $149.99 Lovehoney

Magic Wand Mini $99.99 Lovehoney

The Clitoral (Oral Sex) Vibrator

Unlike most vibrators, a clitoral vibrator’s main attachment is an open-ended tip at the end of the shaft of the device. This open end is maybe only an inch or so in diameter, perfect for using on your small, but highly sensitive clitoris. Instead of focusing on vibrations in general, this vibrator literally aims to suck or pulsate on your clitoris. Just like how (most) people give oral sex!

The different levels of pleasure are directly related to the intensity level you are using. At lower intensities, it will feel more like playful foreplay–as if someone were trying to take as long as possible to get you to orgasm. However, at higher intensities, you can orgasm right away, just like with using a wand vibrator at the highest setting. The best way to use your clitoral vibrator though, is to find a setting somewhere in the middle.

Pro Tip — make sure your vibrator is sealed tight! Using a drop of lube on your clitoris helps maintain your seal.

This is very important to ensure that you are stimulated the way the device was intended. Without the vibrator tip being completely sealed off, the suction won’t have as much effect, if any at all. To make sure you are using your clitoral vibrator properly, you may need to practice a few times at first. I found, using a mirror can be useful to get things lined up just right, especially if your anatomy is shaped like mine. I have meatier bits so at times, moving my outer lips out of the way and getting to my clit can be difficult.

Womanizer Premium 2 $199 at Lovehoney

Womanizer Pro40 $99 at Lovehoney

The Bottom Line on a Beginners Guide to Vibrators

While most people knowingly associate the vibrator with amazing sexual pleasure, different vibrators can provide vastly different sensations. Each of these highlighted seven vibrator types have their own unique attributes that make them a staple of anyone’s sex toy collection. Even if you have a personal preference as to your favorite vibrator type (I’ll never not own a wand), don’t limit yourself to just that vibrator. Your body can become used to the same vibrations and movements and potentially cause issues achieving orgasm during sex–and during solo play. Try a few different vibrators and mix it up. You’ll experience pleasure in no time.

*This article contains affiliate links. Not only will you get quality products, you’ll also help support my writing. If you’d like to set up a time to consult with me about which products may work best for you, get in touch at demeterdelune@gmail.com

The Best Sex Blanket I’ve Ever Owned as a Squirter

December 4, 2022December 4, 2022Demeter Delune1 Comment

Image by The Layer, used with permission https://getthelayer.com/

Sex can get messy, especially when one partner is a squirter and a sex blanket can fix that with ease. I can’t tell you how many sets of sheets, mattress covers, and mattresses, among other things, I ruined before I finally found ways to protect the surfaces I have sex on. One of the first items I was introduced to was a simple medical item, a washable chux pad. They were placed on the bed when I had my children, but I never considered using them during sex. Fairly inexpensive and washable, but they’re not exactly pretty. If you’re using them with your regular partner, you may care more about function than fashion, but if you want something that’s a little prettier and more discreet, I’ve found something that works just as well to fit the bill.

So, What to Do? Get a Sex Blanket!

Recently, the makers of The Layer reached out and asked if I would be interested in trying their product. The Layer is a woman owned and operated company, and their product is made in the USA. Just like a chux pad, The Layer lays on top of your sheets and under you when you’re ready to have some adult fun, and nothing gets through! It’s also the perfect size and shape to put on the couch, or anywhere you’re having fun. It’s round, so no worries about which way you place it! It’s always the right way. One side is luxurious soft, organic cotton fleece, the other is waterproof magic. It’s not noisy, we’ll leave the sounds up to you. It absorbs all sexy-time messes, even menstrual blood. Because it’s not white, like chux pads, there’s no worry of stains showing. It’s a sex blanket but it’s functional for all sorts of things not related to sex as well and I always love a multi-use product.

The Layer is super thin and 40 inches in diameter, so it fits easily in a night table, an overnight bag, or even in your glove compartment. They also sell an attractive clutch for discretion and cleanliness, perfect for that hot date. It’s been tested to withstand over 300 washings and is 100 percent eco-friendly. You can machine or hand wash in warm water, no bleach, no fabric softener, and medium tumble dry.

My review is mentioned in this podcast <3

Real World Experience With This Awesome Sex Blanket

It’s all well and good for a company to tell you how well this sex blanket works, but using it in the real world is what we really want. I’m a prolific squirter and I love using lube. My husband also thinks it’s great to make me squirt as much as humanly possible. In fact, I believe he’s made it his life’s goal to dehydrate me every single time we have sex. As I’m sure you’ve heard, no one wants to sleep in the wet spot. It’s cold, it’s uncomfortable, and it sucks.

The day we received The Layer in the mail, we knew we’d be trying it out that night. I couldn’t believe how thin it was and honestly, wasn’t sure how much liquid it would hold. I’ve soaked through chux pads before, so I was a bit leery this thin sex blanket would handle what I could dish out. But I was definitely willing to try. I told the hubby ahead of time he was free to attempt to make as much of a mess as he wanted. Because we’ve definitely had to have conversations before about holding back to keep the mess down, which sucks! But in our current living situation, only being able to do laundry on a limited basis and owning two sets of sheets, we’ve got to be careful.

Getting Down to Business

So we broke out the lube and some toys and got busy. Really busy. I was concerned The Layer may not be wide enough to accommodate everything we got into. We were all over the place! But we managed to stay on the blanket for the most part, and when we didn’t, we weren’t making too much of a mess. We used our current favorite sex oil, Foria’s Intimacy Sex Oil with CBD, which typically doesn’t stain anyway and definitely didn’t show on The Layer. After a couple of hours of intense, super wet play, it was time to see if this sex blanket lived up to its promises.

I slowly pulled it down to the end of the bed, almost expecting to see at least a tiny bit of moisture underneath. Much to my delight and surprise, the sheets were bone dry! The Layer totally lived up to the hype and kept every bit of liquid ensconced in it’s comfy fibers where it belongs. No one slept in the wet spot that night, and they’ll never have to again.

Final Thoughts

We love The Layer and know you will too. If you go to their website, and sign up for their newsletter, you’ll get a code for 10 percent off your order immediately. This isn’t an affiliate link, but I was given my Layer in exchange for my honest review. I recommend it to anyone who wants to keep the surfaces where they have sex clean and dry.

Although The Layer links aren’t affiliate links, there are affiliate links contained in this article, so not only will you get a quality product, you’ll help support my writing.