July 31st is National Orgasm Day. It only comes once a year, so here are some top tips to make it count and heighten orgasmic sensations, from Sexologist and in-house intimacy coordinator at Erika Lust, Avril Louise Clarke, with some commentary from yours truly! An orgasm is the height of natural human sensation. But few of us know that physical touch is only one element of orgasm. In fact, every single one of our senses can be explored, deployed, leveraged, and otherwise stimulated to induce bigger, more explosive, more satisfying orgasms.
Do you want to know how? Let’s talk about it, you know how much I love porn, so let’s discuss its role in how you can achieve more and better O’s!
Come Into View
Your sense of sight is the most easily stimulated. Put the power of your vision to orgasmic use, by working erotic visual stimuli into your sex. That’s a polite way of saying, watch porn. Good porn. Good, ethical porn. You can try something from the XConfessions catalog, like one of the latest releases Dirty Martini Sex Party, and Put Some Lipstick on It, or even a classic like Female Pleasure Circle.
Erotic movies can offer a shortcut to arousal, and provoke fantasies you’d never considered. XConfessions takes anonymously submitted sexual confessions and turns them into cinematic porn. There’s no better way to celebrate National Orgasm Day.
In Good Taste
An orgasm is right on the tip of your tongue, if you want it to be. Taste is highly sensual, and there is a direct erotic connection between food and sex.
Figs have been associated with sex for millennia, and may have been the original Forbidden Fruit in the Garden of Eden, instead of apples. What’s more, there’s evidence to suggest that the amino acids in figs might contribute to bigger orgasms. Stock up your cupboards. I recently purchased some locally infused fig balsamic vinegar and have been drizzling it on my fruit and even tomatoes, and can’t get enough of it.
Is it enhancing my orgasms? Maybe. It definitely tastes amazing! So I will continue to do it and if it makes an orgasm happen, even better!
Smell is our most evocative sense, instantly able to conjure the memory of a former lover or some half-forgotten tryst at the slightest hint of a familiar scent.
The most orgasmic aroma? A scientific study published in the National Library of Medicine proved that jasmine increases your alertness and improves your mood, both of which help you achieve more intensely satisfying orgasms. Whether it’s a candle or incense sticks, jasmine scents are the sexiest. Thanks, science.
Get In Touch With An Orgasm
It’s safe to say that most of us reach orgasm through some sort of physical contact with our erogenous zones. Again, few people know that orgasm can be achieved through stimulation of parts of our bodies other than our genitals.
Nipple orgasms are not uncommon, anal orgasms are real, and there are countless different types of ways to experience orgasm through physical contact.
Try a Fun Factory VIM wand vibe, it’s like a cheat code for orgasmic satisfaction or reach for the Maya by Love Not War bullet vibe that can be heated up or cooled down for extra sensations.
Hearing is overlooked as an orgasmic sense, which is a shame, because it can be incredibly visceral. The sound of sex is unmistakable, and the recent explosion in erotic audio proves that there’s demand for dirty talk.
ASMR can invoke a sense of tingling euphoria, and for many of us, it’s incredibly sexy. For the ultimate National Orgasm Day celebration, try combining all your senses, with ERIKA LUST’s ASMR.
Don’t wait for a holiday to enjoy an orgasm, you deserve to do it every single day if that’s your jam. And paying for your porn is sexy, Erika Lust knows this, so right now they’re currently having a 50% off sitewide summer sale across all platforms including the award-winning XConfessions–perfect to heighten those orgasmic sensations.
Love Not War has a site-wide sale beginning on National Orgasm Day, 40 percent off their sustainable vibes, so be sure not to miss that either.
The links contained within this article are affiliate links, so if you treat yourself while shopping, I may earn a small commission.
Womanizer is one of the most recognizable sex toy companies on the planet. Their Womanizer Starlet 3 is a new version of a toy you’ll probably recognize—it’s the original Womanizer Pleasure Air Technology combined with five new vivid product colors and two more intensity levels, while being IPX7 Waterproof and USB rechargeable as well as being one of the most affordable clitoral stimulation toys on the market. Betty’s Toy Box provided this item to me in exchange for an honest review.
What are the specs of the Womanizer Starlet 3?
Turquoise, Indigo, Violet, Pink, Gray
ABS plastic made without phthalates, BPA or latex
117mm x 46mm x 47mm
chart by author
Manufacturer Warranty: 5 years
Box includes: Womanizer Starlet 3 clitoral simulator, USB charging cable (AC adapter not included), quick start guide, safety instructions
It charges with the included USB charging cable and note, the LED light is in the clitoral stimulating head, and will come on and flash when charging. 30 minutes to charge, 30 minutes of use.
There are two buttons. It’s not rocket science. + turns it on and increases intensity – decreases intensity and also turns it off. Easy peasy.
What are the features of the Womanizer Starlet 3?
Pleasure Air Technology, unique to all Womanizer products, means your clitoris is stimulated without direct contact. Gentle air vibrations suck and massage at the same time, giving you an experience unlike any other toy you’ve experienced. There’s also the beauty of “set it and forget it”. What does that mean? Just settle this toy onto your clitoris and ride the waves of pleasure. This is great for anyone with limited hand mobility or general mobility issues. It’s also helpful for those who’ve found the intensity of other clitoral stimulators on the market to be too much. But don’t worry, the Starlet 3 has more than one setting, in fact, it boasts six intensity levels, so you’re sure to find the right fit for you. Whether you prefer gentle or OMG.
It’s small and handy, with an ergonomic fit for the palm of your hand. Good things really do come in small packages—it’s small enough to fit between two bodies during playtime, too. Since the Starlet 3 is waterproof, you can take your party to the shower, bath, or even the pool and not worry about ruining the fun.
What you really want to know—How does the Womanizer Starlet 3 perform?
I love how easy the Starlet 3 is to use so let me start with that. A lot of sex toys have multiple buttons so one of the first things I do before settling in to use them is get acquainted with all the bells and whistles. Honestly, there’s not much to doing that with this toy, there are two buttons, a plus and minus and they do exactly what you think they would. The plus button is the on button, press it for two seconds and the toy powers on at its lowest setting. Press it again up to six times to cycle through the intensity levels. The minus button will cycle down through the intensity levels, or press it for two seconds to power off.
The silicone head is fairly large and the toy only comes with one, however, you can order other sizes direct from Womanizer if you’d like. Most people find it fits their body, and Womanizer chose to include only one in an effort to make this clitoral stimulator affordable, along with not providing their usual storage bag. What I like about the larger head is the ability to cover a larger surface beyond just my clitoris, but your mileage may vary. All bodies are different.
Although using lubricant is not required, I highly recommend it. You won’t need much, but I’ve found just a bit of water-based lube allows the Pleasure Air Technology to work even better. Wicked Simply Aqua is my favorite to pair with this toy, it’s vegan and paraben free. Just add a few drops to your body and get ready to ride the waves of pleasure.
I was able to orgasm with this toy fairly easily and found I didn’t need to get to the highest level of intensity. The Starlet 3 doesn’t have the added bonus of Afterglow or Smart Silence like it’s more expensive counterparts, the Classic 2 or Premium 2, but it’s also a lot more inexpensive. I also found the body a little slippery (it’s the shinier ABS plastic, versus the more matte “Soft Touch” of the Classic 2) compared to the Classic 2, which I’m also reviewing soon, but again, the price difference between the two is pretty significant.
Overall, it’s a good toy for the price and if you’re in the market for your first clitoral stimulator I would recommend it. I would give it 4 out of 5 stars.
Pros of the Starlet 3
Cons of the Starlet 3
No storage bag
Multiple color choices
6 intensity levels
Only one clitoral head
Easy to operate
Short battery life
chart by author
There are a lot of clitoral stimulators on the market, even within the Womanizer line of toys. Are there better options than the Starlet 3? Yes, however, there are clearly worse options too. For the price point you won’t find a better choice. If you have a bigger budget, and desire more luxury and more options, I would recommend the Womanizer Classic 2, which I’ll be reviewing in a couple of days. But if you would rather have something economical that does the job, you can’t go wrong with the Starlet 3.
This article contains affiliate links. If you treat yourself while shopping, I’ll earn a small commission. Thanks to Betty’s Toy Box for providing the Womanizer Starlet 3 in exchange for an honest review. Use my code DEMI to receive 10 percent off your entire order at Betty’s, where you’ll receive free shipping on orders over $69.
When it comes to oral sex, most folks who indulge in it think they have the best moves down pat. I won’t lie, I’ve been with people who swore they were the best cunnilinguists out there, and they went on to prove themselves worthy of the title. Unfortunately, that’s not the case the majority of the time.
Like anything else you engage in with another person, your mileage may vary. There are things you can do for one person that will have them screaming for more; try it with someone else and they may do all they can to squirm away.
I say all this to say, your moves may have worked on a lot of people, but communicating with your partner will always win the day. That’s the problem with getting into a rut, so to speak. Thinking you have a set of moves perfected, then performing them with every lover you have the pleasure of encountering isn’t how you go about making your partners feel amazing.
There are techniques, however, you can learn to add to your repertoire which may lead your partner to explosive orgasms. And the best way to get started, is by memorizing a map.
Before you begin any project, you should always be sure you know what you’re working with. Every vulva is different, but the main parts are typically in the same place.
Contrary to popular belief, you’re not ‘eating vagina’, as the vagina is internal. That doesn’t mean you should ignore it, though, once things get going.
The key to exceptional oral sex is paying attention to all the parts that feel pleasure. Some people with vulvas love having their labia (minora and majora) stroked, licked, and maybe even squeezed a little. Others don’t care if you do anything other than hold them out of the way while you go to town on the clitoris.
Pro tip: Let’s do away with the trope that the clitoris is difficult to find. It’s not. Although they are all different shapes and sizes, they are all in the same place.
This is why communication is so important. Keep checking in with your partner while you’re going down on them in the beginning. Yes, sounds and movements help clue you in when you’re doing something right (or not), but asking, “Does that feel good?” goes a long way. Not everyone is comfortable making their pleasure known vocally with sounds. Let’s be better about talking through our pleasure (or displeasure).
One of the biggest mistakes people make when eating pussy is going straight for the clitoris. Sure, you want to give this amazing gland a lot of love, but make your way there slowly. And don’t start with the vulva area at all. Begin kissing your partner in all the other places before you make your way to the finish line.
With that said, the clitoris is a pretty amazing thing. What you see is only a small part of the organ itself. The clitoris extends into the body, with a shaft that’s nine to eleven centimeters long! It boasts more nerve endings than a penis, so it makes sense it’s the center of attention.
That also means it’s extra sensitive. Some partners will enjoy direct intense pressure, while others need you to go a little softer. But whatever way your partner enjoys it, do yourself and her a favor and don’t stop when she says, “Don’t stop!”
When your partner tells you not to stop, they’re saying exactly what you’re doing, right that moment, has them on the edge of orgasm. Changing the pressure, the shape of your tongue, or really anything at that moment is a sure fire way to cause them to lose the orgasm.
That’s never a good thing. Unless you’re into edge play, but be sure to discuss that ahead of time!
How to Get Started Giving Oral Sex
Start at the top- No, I don’t mean the top of their pussy. Place soft kisses on their neck, moving downward towards their breasts. Take your time here. There are so many erogenous zones on the breasts you can explore. Be sure to pay equal attention to both mounds!
Keep moving down- At this point, your partner is likely moaning and writhing, so be sure to continue giving pleasure. Teasing is a big part of any kind of foreplay, but you want to show your intentions to please as well. If they’re wearing undies, start kissing their vulva and even licking a bit through the material. It’s a great build up and will leave them wanting more.
The inner thighs are a hot zone for a lot of people, so don’t leave them out. However, if they are ticklish, this may be a no go area until they’re extra turned on. Personally, I’m no longer ticklish at all once I’m raring to go!
The best part- It’s time to remove any barriers and really get down to business (if your partner is okay with this, we’ll talk about this again later). If your partner enjoys sex toys, be sure to have one handy. But don’t try to use it right away, except for some vibration! Most people with vulvas don’t orgasm from penetration alone, but you can always turn it on and buzz your way over the labia and even the clit before giving it all a good tongue lashing.
Forget the alphabet- I see this advice so often and wonder who decided it was a good idea. Spelling the alphabet on your partner’s clit is probably not going to do much for them. It’s incredibly inconsistent. Consistency is important. As mentioned earlier, if they say don’t stop, then don’t stop!
Listening and learning
While you’re licking and sucking your partner’s clitoris, pay attention to how their body is reacting. If you’re not getting much in the way of signs, i.e. they’re not grasping the linens, moving their bottom, breathing faster, etc. then change up what you’re doing.
But most importantly, ask them what they need.
In an ideal world, you will be able to listen and observe your partner’s body as you try different techniques on them, allowing you to see what works and doesn’t.
Some people just won’t like what you’re doing, and that doesn’t mean anything is wrong with them. It just means you need to spend more time getting to know their specific preferences.
If they aren’t sure what they like, try a few different ways to give oral sex and get them to rate how it feels. Don’t take the ratings or directions personally. This is about what they enjoy and isn’t a statement against your sexual prowess.
Some people are quieter than others and may not react much, even when they orgasm. As a result, you may find it near impossible to tell if they are enjoying themselves or not. The only solution is getting some feedback from them. After you go down on them, try asking them about what they enjoyed, what they didn’t enjoy, and what they want you to do differently.
A note about using barriers while giving oral sex
Safer sex is never a bad thing. Folks don’t always consider using a barrier when performing oral sex, it’s not something we think about as often as we do using a condom for penetrative sex. But have you ever tried to use a dental dam? They’re awkward, the shift around, and let’s face it, they aren’t sexy. Let me tell you about Lorals, FDA cleared for STI protection, sexy undies for oral.
Available in black if you want to keep it mysterious and now, sheer if you’re ready to bare it all, Lorals provide a barrier between your body and your partner for any kind of oral sex you want to get into. They protect but they don’t keep you from experiencing the same pleasure you would without being in place. And, if oral while on your period has always been a no-no for you (we don’t judge either way!) Lorals provides a barrier to allow you to feel comfortable for that, too.
The Bottom Line
Orgasm doesn’t have to be the goal when giving oral sex. It’s wonderful if you get there, but unless this is the only sex act you’ll be doing for the night, it’s just a warm up for more. When you go into licking pussy with the idea you must get your partner off, it puts pressure on you both to perform.
Enjoy it for the appetizer it is and make your partner feel good. In the end, your attention and listening to their body and words will take you further than you’ve been before.
This article contains affiliate links, so if you treat yourself to something while shopping I may earn a small commission.
If you would like to chat more about intimacy topics or set up a coaching session, you can contact me here.